Crossed paths
by The last Phantomdreamer
Summary: I thought about Kaidan's apology email, and decided to write a story about it. As I wondered what Shepard would think about it, and Kaidan's feelings too.


Crossed paths.

She was alive and right in front of him, he had wanted to believe the rumours but she was with Cerberus. He had gotten mad with her; maybe a little too mad, but he had to let her know his true feelings. He calmed down when he made it back to Alliance space; he took a trip to see his parents at their home in Vancouver. He had to wrap his head around what the hell happened. All kinds of thought raced around his head, did she really die or was that a lie, was she afraid of him like he had done to Rahna. They had shared a special evening; she had wanted him as much as he did her. He remembered that night, the soft feel of her skin and the way she smelt.

It had killed him when she had died; she was a strong creature, who never let anyone tell her she couldn't save or do anything she wanted. Elysium had proven her to be a Great War hero, she was a legend, but he saw her as a real person. He wondered whether or not she had played with him feigning an interest, maybe his brain was trying to shield him from the pain he had been through. It isn't a normal thing to see a person you believed was dead, alive and kicking two years later.

"Commander you have received a new message at your private terminal." Kelly Chambers said to her commander, Shepard nodded as she activated the terminal. She had a message from The Illusive Man and one she didn't expect.

_About Horizon_

_From Kaidan_

_Shepard_

_I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for a few drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?_

_Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me… maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't put that aside._

_But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die – on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bare it if I lost you again. If you are still the woman I remember I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself._

_When things settle down a little… maybe… I don't know. Just take care_

_Kaidan_

Shepard closed the terminal in the CIC off and headed to her quarters; turning the terminal there on and thinking about the night before Ilos made her smile, he had made her feel something more real than she had ever felt for a past boyfriend. But she had never really committed to anything long term, she was a spacer kid and they barely settled on a ship for long. But she had slipped into a coma state after she came back to the land of the living, and her mind led her to Kaidan. She felt stupid on Horizon her emotions concerning Kaidan, we in her mind the entire time. Maybe they could be together if she survived this mission, it had to be him, she like the crew but none of them were him.

_Kaidan,_

_I know it must be hard for you; hell it was for me, but I have to stop the Collectors. I have to tell you how I feel, it hurt like hell knowing I had to work for Cerberus, I feel so horrible, but I swear that I will cut ties the second I get back from the Omega 4 Relay. _

_The night before Ilos was a special night for me; I could see there was something special about you, you are a good man. I hope I can make the most of this chance they gave me to make it up to you. _

_Please Kaidan you have to trust me._

_Shepard._

She paused and read over the message, she thought to herself over whether to send it or not. Horizon weighed heavy on her mind, she couldn't save all of the colonists, but she had been given a second chance to make things right to save the day and hopefully get him back. She clicked the delete message button on the email and sighed.' Message, she wanted to send the message but it would be like salt in the wound. She had lied to Joker when she said she was fine, she wanted to be fine, but she had hurt the man she loved. She knew he still cared and that killed her, she turned her terminal off and walked into her bathroom. She looked at her face and saw her eyes had begun to turn red and puffy from the tears, as she washed her face she then remembered the night the Normandy had gone down. It was painful for her to remember, but when she had discovered that he had survived it made her feel relief. She couldn't bear to lose him just as he couldn't her, she vowed to herself to get him back at any cost.


End file.
